


Big Heavy

by PCrabapple



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Cock Worship, Drunkenness, Frottage, Groping while Unconscious, Huge Dick, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Sibling Incest, Size Kink, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-30
Updated: 2012-07-21
Packaged: 2017-11-08 21:32:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/447781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PCrabapple/pseuds/PCrabapple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John learns that Dave's brother is incredibly well-endowed. And can't stop thinking about his ginormous cock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I pulled this prompt off the kink meme aaages ago, and have been trying to write it with extremely spotty focus for like a year. I tried to get a jump-start on it through RP a while ago, the results of which appear on a masterlist of Bro/John fics, so if this looks familiar, that's why. And thanks to Zeke for helping me out with that. Hopefully posting this first chapter will force me to get it done a little quicker. I love feedback and concrit, so let me know what you think!
> 
> Oh, and here's the original prompt. I'll post it in the kinkmeme as soon as I figure out how the new posting rules on it work:
> 
> "I have this major kink for like, ginormous dicks. And I have this thought in mind that just needs to be requested, I think. So John comes to Dave's place, right? And like, shit happens, I dunno, I don't wanna staunch your creativity with my demanding exactly what should happen because shit that's not fun. Anyway. Dave eventually reveals that Bro has like, this giant cock. And John gets all intrigued because I guess his heterosexuality is pretty damn transparent. Fast forward some more events and Dave has managed to convince Bro to let John see it, and then they go to town on it together. Yup, I'm depraved, I know. But man. John and Dave on some monster Bro cock while he just sits there like a fucking smug bastard sounds awesome. And it;s really gotta be big guys. Like fuck, he must have some serious self control because if that dude ever pops a public boner there's no way it's staying hidden."

*slam* The muffled sound of a door shutting jarred John from the unfocused string of thoughts that had been lulling him to sleep. He couldn’t even remember what they were anymore. Damn, he was almost in Snoozeville. Wait...what was that? Who was slamming doors?! Should he freak out?

Oh, right. Dave’s Bro was probably just coming home. It must be 4am by now. Jeez! He couldn’t even fathom staying out this late. Of course, he was awake too. He’d definitely overdone it on the gushers, too wired on sugar to sleep. He tried to relax again, listening to the sound of Dave’s steady breathing in the sleeping bag beside him. Was he asleep? Or maybe he was just so chill he breathed like that when he was awake too. He focused beyond that, listening to try and hear whatever Bro was doing in the main room. What did he even do? His life seemed so mysterious and exciting. He probably laid a hundred ladies a night! So different from Dad. Everything was different here. The heat and humidity, the faint sound of traffic and the hum of Dave’s constantly running computer. It even smelled different; like AXE body spray barely masking burned microwave burritos, instead of the comforting smell of shaving cream and fresh baked evil cakes. No wonder he couldn’t sleep.

Oh, no. He was /not/ getting homesick. He was way too old for that shit! He wasn’t some stupid baby who couldn’t be away from home for a few weeks. He’d be a senior when school started again! Even if a lot of boys were taller than him. And made fun of him. Jerks. Even on the last day of school they had made some kind of quip about his lack of growth spurt. What had it been? “Are you a grower or a shower?” Is that what that even meant? He should ask Dave. He was hip to the lingo kids used these days, hehe. But he was asleep, right? Couldn’t hurt to check.

John turned to his side, the idea lodged in his head as these things often get this early in the morning. His sleeping bag made an unattractive noise as he shifted and the slick material slipped against itself. 

“Hey Dave...?” He said into the darkness.

“Yeah,” Dave’s voice came only a second later. Wow, he had been awake this whole time and they’d just been laying there in silence like douchebags.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

“Can it wait? It’s like 4am or some absurd shit.”

“No dude, this is of vital importance.” 

“Fine. Shoot.”

“Okay, so a week ago in gym these guys were talking in the locker room. I wasn’t really listening because they’re not really my friends or whatever. But then one of them was like, ‘Hey Egbert, how ‘bout you? Are you a grower or a shower?’ And I didn’t really know what they meant so I just kind of stood there, and they all started laughing at me. It was really embarassing, I think, at least. What does that even mean?”

He heard a quick exhale that he’d come to know as Dave’s excuse for laughter in response. “Wow Egbert. You woke me up to ask about your dick size?”

“I didn’t wake you up, I know you were just laying there like a jerk. And what? Is that what it means?” He could feel his face heating up, glad for the darkness. Had that been what they were talking about? No wonder they’d laughed at him. Oh man...

“This is priceless and adorable. Okay John I’m going to lay it out for you ‘cause I can’t bear the thought of continued locker room shenanigans at your expense.”

“Oh thank you Dave! You’re so generous with your wealth of knowledge.”

“Can it, I’m educating. So basically, it’s all gotta do with the size of the spam blade when it’s soft versus when it’s turgid.”

“Did you just seriously use the word ‘turgid’?”

“A little respect for your instructor, please. So, a shower is a dude whose tool is pretty much the same size flaccid or hard. What you see is what you get. You can see a big dick in the locker room and know its gonna smash some shit. Or a tiny prick and know its gonna have to rely on the motion in the ocean. If you know they’re a shower of course.”

“Wow Dave you sure know a lot about dicks!”

“I know right. Anyway, a grower is a dude who seems not that impressive at first. But looks can be deceiving and all that. Put a Playboy in front of him, get a little blood flowin’ and whoa nelly, watch out. He’ll get big and you’ll feel bad for ever laughin’ at him. And maybe feel a little inadequate. Holy shit this conversation is gay as hell.”

“Yeah, kind of...” he fell silent, feeling weird. Now he couldn’t help but wonder.... “Dave?”

“Yup, still here.”

“So...um, which are you?” Thank goodness for the lack of light, hiding is teenage embarrassment.

“Was wondering when you’d ask. So predictable. I’m a grower. Runs in the family. Now Bro, you’d think he was a shower if you got a peek while he was on his way back from the bathroom, like ‘no way that’s gonna get any bigger.’ But you’d be wrong. That bitch gets ridiculously huge. So now I’m pretty much obligated to ask about you. Fair’s fair and all.”

“Um...a shower I guess.” Oh god so embarrassing, had to turn this back around on the double. “But I think the more pressing matter is...you’ve actually seem your Bro...you know, erect?”

“Dude I’ve lived with him for 16 years. I’ve walked in on him jerkin’ it more times than I can count. Kinda hard to miss that huge prick. No big deal. I mean literally it is, but you know what I mean.” 

John nodded uselessly in the dark. So Bro was...really big apparently? He tried to think of the biggest one he’d seen. Wait, why was he thinking about this? This was definitely a gay thing to be considering. Well, it was only to compare to himself right? Yeah. He moved his hand down as quietly as possible, wincing a bit when the sleeping bag gave it’s soft whispery protests. Dave didn’t say anything so he continued, feeling the outline of his penis through his pyjama pants. Probably pretty average. How much bigger was Bro’s? It must be ridiculous for Dave to make a point of telling him. Did it hurt the ladies he was with? What would it feel like? In a hand or...

“So we done with Twenty Cock Questions or not dude?” Dave suddenly said. “Wanna get my snooze on.” Oh shit. John bit his lip, then released it so he could answer.

“Oh, yeah sorry. G’night Dave.”

“More like good morning,” Dave replied, and there was another slip slide sound of weird camping material as the blond turned over. John realized he’d been rubbing his dick right next to his best friend, thinking about his best friend’s older Bro. And what was worse, he was kind of getting hard, his member filling with blood and not getting much bigger, just like he’d thought. Oh man, what was wrong with him? The thought of huge cocks never got him this worked up before. Of course, he’d never really thought about it before. And he definitely shouldn’t think about it again! 

John stubbornly put his hands under his head, trying to ignore his interested erection and focus on the silence. Except it wasn’t silent. He could hear faint sounds coming from the main room. What was Bro doing? Did having a huge dick make it hard to walk? What about pants? Did you have to buy special ones? Could he only wear those baggy raver pants? John hadn’t really paid attention to the older Strider’s wardrobe, but he made a note to check next time he saw him. With these various thoughts going through his brain, John finally drifted to sleep, where vague phallic dreams awaited him. He wouldn’t remember them, but they would leave him with another noticeable problem.  
\----

John attempted to take care of said problem when he woke up that afternoon, trying to sneak out of Dave’s room and run to the bathroom to quickly jerk off while his friend slept on. Unfortunately, just as he’d finished easing the door shut and had turned around to steal into the room across the hall, he ran directly into the man himself, Bro Strider coming out of the bathroom in only a towel around his waist. John fell back, catching himself on his hands. In his dazed state his eyes fell onto the only thing separating him from the purportedly massive endowment Bro had. If only that towel wasn’t ther- Wait, was he seriously still thinking about that??

Far too late for it to be anything but on purpose, Bro let one end of the towel drop. With it, the bottom of John’s stomach dropped out. But the older man kept the terrycloth in place right where it counted, a faded orange waterfall of material concealing his crotch all the way down to the floor.

“Shit, sorry Dave’s friend,” Bro said, even though John knew he knew his name, “Didn’t mean to almost give you a show. Careful where you step.” He reached out a hand to help John stand up. John swallowed and moved his own up to grab it. 

“Psyche.” Bro pulled his hand away and used it to put his towel back in place instead before walking off to the living room. John felt his face going hot again as he scrambled up, wondering if Dave’s brother had seen the modest bulge in his pyjama pants. He hurried into the bathroom, and shamefully fondled it into relief to thoughts of what that towel might have hidden. He thought about boobs just before he came though, so it totally didn’t count.

John decided to take a shower to clean himself up afterwards, though his with his fastidious use of toilet tissue and flushing there wasn’t much to wash off except guilt.

Had Bro known what was on John’s mind? How could he? True, John has been rather obvious in his staring. Then again, Bro was always smirking like he knew exactly what the other person was thinking. It was probably nothing. He really hoped it was nothing. 

He made sure his pyjama pants were anchored safely on his hips before he left the bathroom, and was glad for that because Bro was still hanging around, leaning in the doorway of Dave’s room, this time wearing a pair of black track pants and a black tank top.

“So she was like, giving it these tentative little licks and tastes and shit, totally wrong. I was like ‘Girl you just gotta take it all. Open your throat and suck it down.’ Never heard so much gagging in my life.”

John considered doing an about face. This definitely wasn’t a conversation he was supposed to be listening to. But he was curious, how did sex work when you had a massive cock? Could you even fit it in vaginas? Did it suffocate girls? Is that how hookers died? He hung back in the hallway, trying to stay out of sight.

“Everyone in the restaurant was staring. But that’s how you’re s’posed to eat raw oysters. One swallow.” The tall blond tipped his head back with a hand cupped in front of his mouth to demonstrate.

John felt his face heating up again with private embarrassment. He’d really thought Bro had been talking about someone trying to give him a BJ. Gosh, he must really have dicks on the brain if he’d jumped to that conclusion. He should probably forget about this whole topic right away.

“‘Scuse me,” he said, as Dave made some snarky reply that he didn’t pay attention to, attempting to squeeze past Bro with his head ducked, and taking as subtle a look as he could manage at the crotch of the older man’s pants, looking for an outline of the fabled organ that would put his curiosity to rest. But Bro just turned to the side as he slipped away, his ass bumping into John’s shoulder as he let him through.

“We gotta stop meeting like this, kid,” he said, sparing the briefest glance in John’s direction before he disappeared into the main room. 

“Dude you were totally checking him out,” Dave said, and John looked up to see his friend giving him a smug look as he sat at his desk.

“Was not!” he replied, a little too loudly. Oh god, he was in deep shit now. 

“You totally were,” Dave replied with a snicker, “You heard the legend now you gotta see for yourself. Like the loch ness monster or some shit.”

John felt a tinge of jealousy. Dave had already seen it. He didn’t have to think and wonder about it all the time. The mystery was solved for him. 

“Ugh, no, that’s so gay dude,” he insisted, going over to flop on Dave’s unslept-on bed.

“It’s okay to be curious man,” Dave continued in an infuriatingly patronizing tone. God, John just wanted to hit him for being so on the money. He really envied those pokerfacing skills right about now.

John groaned in protest, rolling over and burying his face in Dave’s pillow. He’d made up his mind. He had to see it. Satisfy his curiosity. It probably wasn’t even that big. Then he could be done with it, never think about it again. Go home with his mind eased and his thoughts unhaunted by thoughts of larger than average penises.

The trick would be getting a look without looking like a total homo. Luckily tricks were John’s specialty.


	2. Chapter 2

“Dude, what the fuck?” Dave pushed John’s involuntarily jiggling foot away from his leg for a third time.

“Heh, sorry bro, I guess I’m just having a major caffeine trip,” John replied, scooting away from Dave on the futon yet again.

“No kidding, you’re slamming Red Bulls like a champion matador.” Dave waited for some props for his sweet simile, but John was busy looking at the tall energy drink can his hand was wrapped around.

“Is it bigger than this?” he asked, holding the can up.

“Oh my god,” Dave groaned, dropping his game controller in exasperation, “I don’t fucking know. It’s not like I hang around and do size comparisons between household objects and my Bro’s dick. Can’t you just be satisfied with ‘It’s big’?”

“You’re not giving me any sense of scale, Dave!” John argued, grabbing his friend’s shoulder and shaking him urgently. All this caffeine really was making him quite giddy.

“I don’t know!” Dave replied, shrugging John off. “Get ahold of yourself, you’re hysterical. Should smack you like a dame in a film noir.”

“Okay, okay. I’m calming down,” John said, letting go and taking a deep breath, “Everything’s cool and I don’t care about your brother’s penis.”

He did though. It was becoming something of an obsession. It was still just to satisfy his curiosity and ease his mind, of course. Totally harmless. He looked back down at the Red Bull can. This was pretty big right? Definitely bigger than his own dick. Could something bigger than this can fit-

“Egbert, head in the game,” Dave called, poking John in the ribs with a controller.

“Oh yeah, right. Prepare to get creamed, son.” He just had to stave these thoughts off for a few more hours till Bro came home and he could put his plan into action.  
\---------

Once again John lay awake in his sleeping bag. This time though, he was anticipating the slam of the door that had startled him last time. His hyperactivity had worn off, but his mind was still racing and nervous. Was it really long? Or really thick? Or both?

Working up the nerve to put his plan into action took a little more effort than just a quick look at his phone’s “sassapp” (“Your on-the-go guide to gags, gambols, and a gazillion guffaws!”). Talking trash about Dave’s Bro and his uncoolness online was one thing. Seeing him in the flesh was another entirely. The man was nothing if not physically intimidating; he was tall, cut with lean, powerful-looking muscles, and carried himself with an unquestionable confidence.

The day he had arrived and met Bro he’d been caught wrist deep. John had been putting on an impromptu puppet show for an oddly uncomfortable-looking Dave with several of the colorful felt guys that had been strewn around the apartment. The stone-faced glare the older Strider had set on him when he walked in had lasted for at least 60 seconds, and had John spilling out apologies for touching his things. He’d been certain he was about to have his clock powerwashed courtesy of one of the gloved fist at the end of a thick bicep.

But instead Bro’s face had split into one of the dirty smirks John had come to know as his only other facial expression and he'd said that the puppets “looked good on him.” Then he’d left the room, and left John feeling not at all at ease, though his discomfort had become more vague than just the fear of being pummeled.

Needless to say, John had to be subtle. No “accidentally” spilling hot coffee on the man’s crotch, or the always classic pantsing. He wasn’t going to risk something so blatant and reckless. Those sorts of things might work on Dave (and had, much to his amusement), but there was no way he was going to give the older Strider the same familiar and carefree treatment. Everything about Bro gave off a sense of sharp and quick danger. That danger was sort of intriguing to John, like the mystery of a hot stove not yet touched, but he wasn’t stupid.

The incident with the towel was a good place to start, accident or not. He could play up his innocence, adopt a clumsy, foolhardy nature, and try to catch the older man with his pants literally down. It wasn’t quite buckets and rubber spiders, but such a delicate topic called for more subtle measures. He wasn’t going to blow his chances to get a peek at Bro’s purported python by screwing it up with kid tricks.

He heard the door shutting in the main room and slipped out of his sleeping bag as quietly and quickly as possible, looking over at the lump on the floor that was Dave. He was definitely asleep tonight, John had made sure of that by insisting they watch Contact before bed.

He crept down the hall to stand at the door to the main room, listening. He could hear the thunk of Bro putting his DJ equipment in the corner where John usually saw it during the daytime. Did he dance with people when he was out in the clubs? Did he stand behind them and grind? Could they feel it pressing against them?

John bit his tongue, concentrating on the task at hand lest he miss his opportunity because he was busy fantasizing. He pressed his ear to the door, trying to hear the sound of rustling fabric. But it would be too quiet, he realized. He would have to just guess. He tried to time it in his mind, though he had no clue what was happening on the other side of the door. He put his equipment down, then....what? Maybe stretch a little from carrying that stuff. Then surely he’d go to bed.

The Bro in John’s mind was taking off his shirt, and he had to convince himself that’s what was really happening or he would miss it. Then he would take his shoes and pants off. He pictured it in sequence. Kicking the shoes off. Belt, button, zipper. Pulling down the pants, then the underwear. Did he even sleep in the nude? Probably, he seemed the type. Okay, so his underwear was off, his indeterminately huge member free. Now was the time!

Heart pounding, John stepped back and affected a casual, sleepy gait before opening the door and walking through it, excuse at the ready.

“Oh! Sorry Mr. Strider, I didn’t realize you were home, I was just getting some water.”

He stopped, finding the man on the futon in the process of pulling his shirt off. He was still wearing his loose-fitting black jeans. Damn! John cursed himself for not waiting longer, and Bro for not sharing Dave’s taste in skinny jeans (how big would the outline be?)

“‘S’fine,” Bro replied without looking, getting his shirt off over his unmoved shades and flinging it into a corner. He leaned back into the futon and stretched his arms over his head. His speech sounded a little slurred, and John thought he might be a bit drunk. Maybe his guard would be down and he’d keep undressing. John chewed on the inside of his lip as he stood and waited, watching Bro comb a hand back through his hair and then wipe it on his thigh. His eyes strayed to look at that muscled chest enviously. It wasn’t like there was anything else to look at when the prize was still covered up.

“Kitchen’s over there,” Bro reminded him, gesturing vaguely behind him.

“Right,” John replied, turning to go get the glass of water he didn’t really want. He took his time, finding a cup, carefully moving fireworks aside and then filling the cup, continually glancing back to see if Bro was naked yet. Come _on_!

But Bro hadn’t made any other moves save to lean forward with his elbows on his knees, shoulders slumped. He looked tired, and John supposed that made sense. He got home after he and Dave went to sleep, but he was up before them in the morning, “running drills on the roof,” according to Dave. Did having a big dick make fighting difficult? Did they make extra large cups?

“Y’need somethin’ else?” Bro asked, turning his head back just a fraction in John’s direction.

“Um, nope,” John replied, his hand tightening on the cup as he realized he was overstaying his welcome. “Sorry, my dad doesn’t like me taking food and stuff back to my room, just a habit I guess,” he lied, _wishing_ cakes were forbidden in his room.

Bro didn’t answer, just moved sideways to lay out on the futon. With his pants still on. Great. John had really screwed his chance up. He sighed inwardly and decided to chalk this venture up to reconnaissance. That was fine. He hadn’t even been here a week, there would be plenty of time to craft his strategy. He couldn’t help but be disappointed though. He’d really thought he was going to get a taste of what Bro was concealing. A look! A quick innocent look, the end.

He shuffled back towards the hallway, stopping to watch the older man sprawled on the futon for a moment. One arm was up over his head across the arm rest, the other was laying on his lower stomach. He looked like he was already asleep, and John’s eyes went to his crotch again, trying to see a hint, _anything,_ until Bro’s head turned slightly to face on him, shaded gaze unreadable as ever.

“‘Night,” John muttered in a panic and quickly slipped back into the hallway, his heart pounding with a mixture of fear and weird exhilaration. It almost stopped when he nearly tripped over Cal, who was sitting in front of Dave’s door like a dog wanting to be let in. Man, that thing was creepy. Even so, John suppressed his urge to kick it aside and gently set it against the wall instead before going back to bed.

\---------------

The next few days were a rollercoaster of anticipation, cresting hope, and crushing disappointment. And lots of boners. (Did Dave’s Bro get a lot of boners? Did they make him light-headed because it would take a lot of blood to fill his cock? ) Those were just a hormone thing. Maybe his boner was jealous or trying to establish dominance by puffing up like a bird trying to make itself bigger. Sure.

After the first failure there was the mirror, a little square of glass taped to a stick that had something to do with photography and light or some boring crap. All that mattered was that it was reflective. Dave watched with a neutral amusement as John tested it by crouching on the other side of the door and slipping it under the crack. He tilted it until he could see his friend in the surface, then wiggled it to catch the sun and reflect it into Dave’s shades. He got a middle finger and then the door banging into his head for all his efforts.

Showtime came in the morning, after John had set his alarm for earlier than usual. Once he’d shut it off and Dave had quit grumbling and rolled back over he was listening at a door again, waiting to hear the bathroom across the hall shut. This time there would be a payoff, he was certain. No one went to the bathroom without getting naked.

He heard the telltale sound of the door that meant it was time for action, and stepped out of Dave’s room with his spy gear. Getting cozy on the floor next to the gap under the door, John slipped the mirror under very carefully, feeling like the cleverest motherfucker in that moment. Seriously, this was the most genius plan, he should be in the CIA or whoever did this kind of thing.

He rotated the rod as he tried to find Bro’s rod, getting snatches of tile, porcelain, and finally black fabric, Bro’s workout pants. His heart started to race again with the prospect of finally seeing what had been eating at his brain with greater and greater frequency as his visit went on. He licked his lips and tilted the mirror to pan up, finding the rest of Dave’s older brother.

He was standing at the sink in front of the mirror, his shirt off again. If only John had been trying to get a peek at his pecs or something, he would have been satisfied ages ago. The man was shiny with sweat, and tending to a nasty-looking bruise on his collarbone. Was it a bruise? Maybe it was a hickey. What did it feel like to be a lady giving him a hickey like that, and reaching down to feel between his legs to find a monster...?

Oh great, here came another erection. This was probably one of those fear-boner type things due to the excitement and possibility of getting caught. He was a teenager, totally couldn’t help it. It would be great if Bro got hard-ons as often as John did. Then this case would be closed. How much bigger did it get?

John shifted a bit in impatience, his thighs sandwiching and rubbing at the perfectly normal engorgement between his legs, and focused the mirror back on the waistband of Bro’s pants, willing it to be removed. Finally the older man stepped back and hooked his thumbs under it. John held his breath. This was it. He squeezed his thighs together as if to calm his cock down and watched intently.

It seemed like it was happening in slow motion, the pants slipping down over Bro’s hipbones, revealing more and more of the twin creases on his lower abdomen that slanted and led down and in, as if pointing to the main attraction. Gosh, he must have a real fetish for scientific discovery because John was practically panting with arousal.

And then, just as the pants were getting to the end of the nest of blonde pubic hair, Bro turned, his back facing the door as he moved to the shower. John almost cried out in exasperation, but managed to bite his tongue. Instead of an eyeful of dong he got a perfectly framed picture of Bro’s rump. It was nice, he supposed, very muscular and defined, but it wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t give up though, following the man’s progress across the bathroom.

And that’s when Cal showed up. His huge, gold-toothed grin eclipsed Bro in the mirror, and through his horror John saw him turning around again to close the shower door. If Cal hadn’t been sitting on the floor where he was John would have gotten the perfect view. But in the end his surprise and terror at the puppet’s appearance won out and he yelped, thunking his head on the door again and dropping the mirror. He heard the shower door open again and quickly pulled the mirror back from under the gap.

In his panic John rushed back into Dave’s room, and nearly tripped over his sleeping friend to get to the window and get rid of the evidence. He watched the mirror plummet down to the roof below and shatter among all the other crap that seemed to have found its way out there. He squinted his eyes for a moment to look at what appeared to be Dave’s personal trash-heap, temporarily forgetting about Bro and getting caught. It seemed the man wasn’t that interested anyway, because he could faintly hear the shower going.

There seemed to be a lot of magazines out there, and unrolled condoms. John had to suppress a giggle at the thought of finding Dave’s masturbatorial cast-off pile.

“What are you doing?” Dave’s sleepy voice came from behind him, and John simultaneously hit his head against the window frame and his diminishing erection against the sill. An injury added to the insult of another failure.

\--------------

After that he got a little more proactive. He was starting to feel a little frantic, like if he didn’t get a glimpse of Bro’s dick he was going to live an unfulfilled life for the rest of his years.

When he tried to “accidentally” bump into the man on his way back from the shower and get a feel through the towel (desperate times, desperate measures), Dave’s brother had simply slipped aside with that eerie speed and left John sprawled on the floor again.

When he’d spilled cold Kool-aid onto his crotch one evening and tried to insist he should change his pants before they stained, Bro had just shrugged it off and stayed where he was, eating pizza on the futon. Then he and Dave had quoted lines from Billy Madison until John had to beg them to stop.

Bro seemed completely disinterested in John’s constant clumsiness and his uncanny ability to run into him at the wrong time. That was fine. He didn’t expect someone like Bro to be concerned with the awkward antics of a kid like him. And as long as he wasn’t suspicious everything was okay and he could keep trying. Dave was just amused and complacent, like he’d seen it all and was above John’s inexperienced and naive curiosity. It frustrated John, but at least Dave wasn’t ratting him out to Bro.

John was going to have to pull out all the stops if he wanted to end this. It was getting bad. His dreams were filled with sheet-staining visions of finally achieving his goal, Bro on a throne of Red Bull cans, pantsless and peeling a huge banana. Then he would wake up to the disappointment of reality and the inevitability of yet another hard-on demanding his attention. Did it take a long time for Bro to jerk off? Did he have more nerves or were they just spread out along a massive surface area? These questions were piling up in John’s head, leaving little room for other things. He had to get closure, and soon.  
\--------

John was certain he had it in the bag this time. He’d waited for Bro to leave the apartment, and then crept back into the main room. The webcam and external hard drive he’d borrowed from Dave were right where he’d left them the day before, under a bright yellow smuppet that didn’t seem to get much use from atop its perch on a speaker.

The camera had been recording for twenty four hours, and John knew for a fact that Bro had changed clothes several times in that period, and hadn’t been in the bathroom when he’d done it. This was it, for sure this time. He probably wouldn’t get to see it at its full glory, erect and in action, but it would be better than nothing. He’d settle for anything at this point.

As he took the camera down he couldn’t help but look forward to reviewing the footage on his laptop. Maybe he’d get some popcorn, or wait for some privacy and jack off. To a job well done and his own ingenuity, of course.

He was grinning uncontrollably and slipping the equipment into his pocket when a voice sent his blood running icy cold.

“You been spyin’ on me.”

He whipped around to see Bro watching him from the futon, sitting comfortably with his arms spread along the back. It hadn’t been a question.

Uh oh.

Fucking busted.  
\---------------------


	3. Chapter 3

“I-! I thought you were at work!” was the first thing that tumbled out of John’s mouth, before he realized that wasn’t really the issue here. “And- I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Yes, good cover, great cover. He shoved the camera and hard drive as deep into his pocket as he could.

“It’s Sunday,” Bro said simply. He lifted one of his hands from behind the futon. It was holding an enormous plastic cup from Taco Bell. John realized he’d made a fatal mistaken assumption in the nature of Bro’s absence. Indeed, the DJ equipment was still in the corner, John hadn’t even checked. How stupid could he be??

Bro wrapped his lips around the straw, orange liquid tinting the inside of it as his other hand picked up the TV remote and hit a button.

The screen flicked on and John turned, saw to his horror a grid of six different video feeds, all featuring himself from different angles. Currently it was showing John stashing the camera under the smuppet, then giving the puppet’s nose a curious squeeze. Oh no.

Bro hit another button and the footage changed, to him in the main room peeking around the corner as he waited for Bro to come out of the bathroom. From the front, the back, the side. Oh god.

And now there was him crouched at the bathroom door with the now-deceased mirror. One camera had the perfect angle to frame his ass wiggling in the air. John could feel blood rushing to fill his cheeks as he recalled the erection that had caused him to move like that. Oh jeeeeeezus.

And finally video of the first night, the image green in nightvision mode as it captured John listening at the door to the main room, trying to hear the man undressing on the other side. Oh fuck.

How could he have been such an idiot? He’d _known_ about Bro’s cameras, Dave had warned him before he’d come to visit. He’d totally forgotten in his obsession with seeing Bro’s above average endowment. It was bitterly, hilariously ironic that Bro had caught him at his own game, using hidden cameras, and hadn't even been trying. Maybe he could salvage it, explain it away. There was no way Bro knew exactly why he’d been snooping.

“I-” he started, not knowing where he was going with this. But Bro spared him from having to try to think.

“You wanna scope my cock,” the older man finished, turning the TV off and dropping the remote carelessly. John’s face went even redder if possible, destroying any hope he had of lying.

“Um,” he mumbled, hands twisting together and lip undergoing undeserved punishment between his teeth. He was going to get it now. Right in the face. Probably get his front teeth knocked out. His Dad would be so pissed.

“Coulda just asked,” Bro continued. He was being far too casual about this, just putting the straw back in his mouth and sucking up more soda. Even if John didn’t consider him cool in the conventional sense, he certainly was chilly as fuck in his aloofness. Did he wear it on the right or the left? Even now he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

John just stared, no clue what to say. He was completely and utterly busted, couldn’t even get up the wherewithal to try and defend himself in the face of Dave’s brother’s teasing. Bro didn’t speak either for a long time. Finally he lowered the cup.

“Well? You gonna?” John gaped. Was he? If Bro was serious, this was his chance. It was his goal, sure, but... His vision of the affair had been one in which he got a quick peek and then got away with it as a result of his incredible cleverness. Not...this. Just straight up asking while Bro stared at him and he blushed and stuttered. At least it seemed he wasn’t going to be punched.

And this seemed like an almost sure thing. An actual real opportunity, and now that the jig was up there would be no point in continuing his clandestine attempts. Could he, in all sincerity, ask another man, a way older man, if he could look at his dick? Maybe he should just forget it, avoid Bro forever and never speak of it again. But the thought of returning home without seeing, without knowing...he knew it would leave him feeling unfilled- FULFILLED! Unfulfilled!

“Uh....” he finally said, knowing his face must be on fire, “Can I?”

Bro set the cup between his legs and smirked, breaking the perfect pokerface he’d been maintaining and leaving John feeling no more at ease.

“Can you what?” he asked, and John groaned. The man was playing him expertly, in a way that John couldn’t even have hoped to achieve with all his careful planning and sneaking over the past few days.

“Can I...” God, how should he word it. Clinical was probably good. “Can I see your penis?” Wow, nope. Not at all.

“I dunno, _can_ you?” Bro retorted, pulling the old grammar trick. John was about to respond indignantly, but Bro shook his head. “Just kiddin’, yes you may.” And with that, he set his cup on the armrest and started unclasping his belt.

John could hardly believe that this was happening. He half expected a little flag that said “BANG!” on it to pop out of Bro’s fly. Was it really going to be this easy (if way more gay) after all his effort trying to be subtle?

God, Bro was taking so long! He was still pulling his belt out of the loops slowly, laying it over the back of the couch slowly, undoing the button on his jeans. Slowly. He wasn’t even being seductive about it. He was just. Making. John. Wait.

The younger man almost felt like running over and ripping his pants open himself, but he kept control, still clinging to the notion that this was all for investigational purposes. God, this was it, this was it! he could feel his heart racing, which was sort of odd since there wasn’t any danger of being caught this time, he’d already been caught.

John shifted uncomfortably as he watched, trying not to stare, but it was impossible. Bro lifted his hips to inch his pants down enough to bare his boxer briefs. They were tight. And even though they were black John could see the bulge. On the left. That answered one question. Only a fucking million more to go.

The underwear was starting to come down now, and there would be no last second turning this time, John had his hopes up about that. There was nothing on his mind but what was waiting behind that fabric now. How big it looked from the outside, how big it was underneath. How big was it? How big, oh god this was it.

Finally, _finally_ Bro was reaching a hand in to ease it out. Again, slowly. But that was okay, because it seemed like it would never end. It kept coming, inch after inch of flesh clearing the waistband until it was all out. All of it. And it was a lot.

It wasn’t love at first sight. His first thought was something like awed revulsion. The urge to turn tail and run because _jesus_ that would hurt anyone, surely. But the longer he looked, the more curious and fascinated he became.

John’s breath caught in his throat as he stared at the length lying in repose over Bro’s underwear and jeans. He started to lick his lips and then stopped himself. God it looked like it was at least ten inches long from where he stood. And thick, definitely, like he would only just be able to wrap his hand around it. Or, like someone would, someone else. But....Dave said it got bigger. Bro was a grower. Runs in the family.

Bro ran his fingers along it once, almost lovingly, then grabbed his cup again and sipped from it, looking at his nails with an easy indifference. What did it feel like?

John knew he should go back to Dave’s room, where the younger Strider was waiting, keeping a controller warm for him while he “went to the bathroom.” He’d seen it, witnessed the majesty, time to let sleeping cocks lie and get back to his real life. But....Dave said.....

“Is that it?” John asked before he could catch himself. Bro’s shades flashed just like a cheesy anime character as he turned his head to look directly at John. Wow, he’d actually offended him. Way to keep your big mouth shut.

Bro’s eyebrows furrowed just slightly, and he almost looked like he might be mad. But then he gave another little smirk. “No,” he replied.

John chewed on his lip. Okay, now what? He kept looking at the massive member, the next question was obvious, but actually speaking it aloud was going to be difficult. He waited, the silence stretching uncomfortably as he hoped Bro would do it for him. Jesus it was big, even flaccid it looked improbable.

Bro gave a heavy sigh and swirled his cup around, ice clacking together in the quiet. “You wanna see it hard?” he asked, his tone put-upon, like John was making him do all the work.

John’s lip felt raw as he chewed on it continuously, and he shut his eyes, nodding, unable to even try to deny it.

“Gonna need some help then. Not a lot to get excited about right now,” Bro continued, sweeping the hand with the cup out to indicate the room at large, with all its phallic puppets and censored posters.

Oh fuck, was he saying....Shit, how gay could it get? But....John did wonder. It was kind of hard to study it in detail from so far away, and....what would it feel like against his fingers, filling up his hand?

Scientific discovery, scientific discovery.... he repeated to himself as he took a few halting steps towards the futon. Christ, it seemed to get larger as he got closer, his decreasing distance making it take up more and more of his vision.

Finally he was standing right in front of Bro, looking down at it, his breath shallow and heart pounding. The older man kept watching impassively, sipping from the cup like nothing out of the ordinary was going on, like he hadn’t coerced his brother’s best friend into touching his dick. Coercion. Yes, totally.

John moved to sit down on the futon next to Bro, but stopped. Cal was taking up whatever free space there was, noodly legs stretched out on the cushion and noodly arms wrapped around a Taco Bell bag. John hadn’t even noticed him before, he’d been too focused. He blocked the puppet out of his mind and got down on his knees instead. Gay, gay, gay... No boners about it. Not yet anyway.

He couldn’t stop himself from licking his lips in anticipation now as he stared it in the face. Head, whatever. He lifted a hand tentatively, not sure where or how to start.

“Ain’t gonna bite,” Bro said boredly above him. John did bite his tongue as he just....sort of...reached out...

It was warm under his fingers. Warm and soft, almost silky. There was a subtle thrumming under the surface, a low pulse just on the edge of his awareness. He stroked his fingers along it lightly, feeling how _long_ it took to get from the curly blonde hair at the base to the tip. The head of it was even smoother, cushy and giving under his thumb.

John trailed his forefinger along the circumcision scar, which was much paler than the rest of the skin, a ragged looking separation between the shaft and the flange of the head. This was a million times more informative than a quick look through a mirror, or the blurry freezeframe of a webcam. A hell of a lot gayer, but way more helpful in satisfying his curiosity.

Except it wasn’t really satisfying his curiosity. He’d never seen a penis this close up before, or from this angle. Or felt one other than his own. It was so much bigger than his own. Almost twice as long soft. But it was supposed to get bigger. It was already feeling a bit stiffer as he moved his hand over it.

John gave into the urge to wrap his palm around it. His thumb and forefinger could touch, but only just. He bit his lip yet again as he began to move it, trying to coax blood into the area the way he would if he was masturbating, just on a larger scale. What was Bro thinking about? A hot chick with big tits? A fat ass with an inviting cleft in which to lay his huge cock?

He heard a sharp crunching sound above him and looked up. Bro was watching him with that infuriatingly shaded gaze, and eating a taco. He was eating fucking Taco Bell bell while John jerked him off. Indignation flared up in him, and he opened his mouth to say something. But what was he going to say? “Please put that down and stroke my hair, Bro”? “Pay attention to me and tell me I’m doing a good job”? No, maybe this was the least gay course of events. John frowned up at him, but then looked back at the dick in front of him. Yes, this was fine.

And Bro’s huge tool was becoming finer, larger as he moved his hand. The skin was stretching, becoming less velvety and more smooth by degrees, almost gradual enough to not be noticed if John hadn’t been paying such rapt attention. He was so focused that the strangeness of fondling his best friend’s brother’s penis was but a mere faint thought in the very back of his head, the rest filled with wonder and curiosity. How much bigger would it get? What did it taste like? Could anyone possibly get their mouth around it?

He ignored the continued crunching sounds of Bro eating as he lifted it up (it was _heavy_ ) and examined the underside. He lightly thumbed the frenulum, feeling the string of flesh issuing from the groove at the bottom of the head, following the diminishing folds as they faded into the circumcision scar. He rubbed up and down it a few times and almost jumped as he felt the whole thing twitch in his hand and give an extra hard throb.

Bro’s cock was definitely getting hard now, becoming firmer and thicker in his hand. He could no longer touch his fingers and thumb around it, and there was a good deal of heated flesh between them. And it was definitely hot, growing warmer by the minute as the blood rushed in, veins starting to stand out along the surface. John traced each one, marvelling at the feel of the pulse beneath the skin, how the skin grew shiny as it expanded. God, this was incred- informative. He was so glad he hadn’t settled for just a second or two’s glance.

He watched in complete amazement as a bit of liquid issued from the eye of the tip, a single clear tear fixed to the dimple. John licked his lips again and spread it around the head, fascinated by the way it glistened on the reddening flesh.

His own penis, pitifully small by comparison, was hard too, standing at attention and straining against his underwear as if in some tragically vain attempt to compete. He didn’t touch himself though. This didn’t need to get any gayer, and he’d grown used to ignoring his erections over the time he’d spent with the Striders.

“D’you like it?” Bro said through the last mouthful of taco, and John looked up, startled. He’d sort of forgotten about the guy connected to the huge cock he was currently comparing against his forearm, his elbow nestled in the man’s pubic hair. (jesus, it was just about the same size).

“Uh.....” John muttered, not sure how to answer. Did he like it? It was interesting, sure, but also frightening, as intimidating as the man himself. But still, John couldn’t take his eyes (or his hands) off of it.

“Yeah....” he finally said, unsure, “I think so...”

“Then why don’t you marry it?” Bro asked, his mouth empty now and able to lay on a mocking tone. John frowned as Bro took another slurping drink from his soda and then gave a huge, almost predatory smirk. “Or at least kiss it.”

John’s mouth fell open as he looked up at the older man again, then closed it when he realized how that must look. The fucking _gall._ But...he had wondered what it tasted like. And it wasn’t like he would ever have a chance to try again. He let go and sat back a bit, needing a moment to think. Bro’s cock dipped with its unsupported weight, bobbing slightly.

God, it was big. Huge. Enormous. Gigantic. Et cetera. John felt an excited sort of panic stir in him as he watched it. Immense. Bro just continued watching, drinking from that cup like he didn’t give a shit either way. Colossal. Who the hell did he think he was? Titanic. Well, that was pretty obvious, actually. Massive. He was a guy with a very large (Gargantuan.) cock.

“Doesn’t it...hurt girls?” John asked, wanting at least one question answered before he took the plunge, so to speak.

Bro raised an eyebrow, and laid a hand on himself, lazily spreading out another bead of precum and then letting go again. “Nah,” he said vaguely, with no follow-up explanation. Well that wasn’t very helpful.

John licked his lips again. He’d already made up his mind, now he was just stalling. He moved forward again, marvelling at how much of his view the thing took up. He wrapped a hand around the base and lifted it up. Jesus it was ample as fuck. It seemed to tower over him as he held it upright and moved his head in. It smelled musky, strong and sweaty. It was kind of gross but...kind of hot, if he was honest. And honest was the last thing he was being with himself in everything but action. John’s own erection was begging to be touched but he still abstained. He needed both hands for this anyway.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly as he leaned in, his tongue sticking out absurdly, until it was touching Bro Strider’s enormous schlong. It tasted like it smelled, but saltier. He forced himself to drag his tongue up along the underside, feeling it throb against him in an incredible way. John pulled away and closed his mouth, smacking his lips and considering the taste. It wasn’t...terrible. He went back and licked the same spot. Now that the sweat had been licked away it just tasted like skin. Smooth, silky, hot skin. It wasn’t terrible at all.

He wanted to see what would happen if he kept going, and so he did, licking from bottom to top (which took a looong time,) then around the more bitter tasting head. After about a minute of this he sat back again, his tongue already dry, all the saliva used up and drying on the giant dick he’d been licking. Bro looked at him expectantly, but otherwise, he hadn’t reacted much through the whole thing.

“Sorry, just a minute,” John said, shaking his head as he tried to coax more spit into his mouth, returning his gaze to the hypnotizing sight of the older man’s shining wet man meat.

Bro smirked again and lowered his cup down so the straw hovered in front of John’s mouth. He took it between his lips and sucked thirstily, grateful for that bit of generosity. He shut his eyes and considered his next move, wanting to satisfy as many curiosities as he could while he had the chance.

“You just gonna stand there?” Bro said, and John opened his eyes again, confused. He wasn’t standing, and he’d been doing quite a lot if he said so himself! But when he looked up, Bro wasn’t looking at him, he was looking over his head, behind him. John turned around to follow his line of sight.

Oh right.

Dave was a person that existed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I agonized long and hard (heh) over whether or not Bro would be circumcised or not, mostly based on whether the foster system would take care of that or not bother. I finally decided that, being a government institution, it probably would.


	4. Chapter 4

John didn’t have anything to say this time. The straw was still hanging stupidly from his mouth and Bro’s throbbing massive member was still wrapped in both of his hands. He stared dumbly at Dave, the taste of orange soda was suddenly too sweet and chalky rather than refreshing, the feel of the cock against his skin suddenly too hot and obscene.

Dave looked like he didn’t have anything to say either. His pokerface was perfectly in tact, just like Bro’s, except for the blush spreading rapidly from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. John thought this was rather silly. After all, Dave had assured him of his disinterest in the subject multiple times. He’d seen the beast, though maybe not his bff tangling with said beast.

“Dude, it’s so much bigger than a Red Bull can,” he heard himself say. Yeah, this didn’t need to be weird. He was just examining (and tasting) a big dick. Anyone in his place would have done the same, sure.

“Yeah,” Dave said, his voice cracking uncharacteristically, “Looks like you’re slamming it just as enthusiastically.”

“Pf. You’re just jealous.” From the way Dave shut up at that accusation, it became apparent that John might have been right. He felt sort of guilty. This summer was supposed to be about him and Dave, two bros chilling and having a good time. But then John had become obsessed with The Bro, and his huge cock, ostensibly tossing Dave to the wayside as his priorities shifted radically.

And now what was he going to do? Tell Dave to stop staring and leave him alone with his paleontological discovery (because, bones)? Or just go back to Dave’s room and leave himself only partially informed?

But, if Dave really was jealous...”Come on, check it out,” he said, letting go of the meat in front of him to beckon his friend over, “It’s so awesome.”

Dave swallowed visibly and turned his head to look up at Bro’s face. John looked too, and put on his best pleading puppydog face. Please, Mr. Strider can your little brother join me in these exploratory cock-fondlings? The older man had gone back to his soda, and was looking between them with that exasperatingly blank expression. Finally he just shrugged, and John practically bounced on his ass as he turned back to Dave, “Come on!”

Dave still looked rather ambivalent, his face maintaining that cherry shade. But he started taking small steps towards them, until he was finally standing next to the futon, his fists opening and closing. “Dave don’t be such a prude,” John insisted, pulling Dave down by the leg of his jeans. Never thought he’d be saying that to Dave! That was all the encouragement he needed apparently, because the younger Strider followed the pull and plopped down on the other side of Bro’s crotch. He sat cross-legged and stayed quiet, content to watch for the moment.

John smiled, aware that he was blushing himself a bit (though nowhere near as badly as when he’d first been discovered). “Dude, the circumcision scar was like, this far away from the top when I first started,” he said, holding his thumb and forefinger close together, and then holding them up to compare against the two-inch long stretch of lighter skin that would have been covered by foreskin.

“Told you he was a grower,” Dave said. He seemed a bit calmer, but he was definitely still trying to control his voice.

“Yeah but, I mean damn, I didn’t expect _this_ ,” John argued, lifting and caressing the hefty length, tracing the veins again. “Feel how heavy it is,” he said, removing one of his hands to make room for Dave’s.

Dave swallowed again, and turned his head slightly to look up at his brother. John could tell he was nervous, but he definitely seemed like he wanted to do this. Maybe John hadn’t been the only one who’d been curious about the specifics of the older man’s above-average dick.

Dave reached out slowly and cupped his hand on the underside. John let go so the full weight would be represented.

“Yup,” Dave said, his face achieving full blush again, “Could tip some scales.” John grinned and put his hand back on the erection, accidentally bumping fingers with Dave before quickly relocating to another part of the spacious length.

“It tastes kinda weird, but not bad,” John went on, leaning down and giving the head another lick. His mouth had been watering for it ever since his mouth had been rehydrated, to tell the truth.

One of the things he really liked about this cock was that it was a much better indicator of Bro’s mood than anything else about him. The thickness had flagged somewhat when Dave had appeared and John had turned his focus onto his friend. But now that he’d started lavishing it with attention again it was throbbing and fully thick again, stretched skin engorged and shining.

John watched Dave somewhat self-consciously as he started licking along it again, flicking his tongue against the frenulum and dipping along the crease in the head. He couldn’t tell if Dave was looking at him or his brother’s huge shaft, which he was still tentatively running his fingers along, the pads gravitating to trace the pulsing veins as John’s had.

Ever since The Great Oyster Story Misunderstanding, John had wondered if anyone could fit any of this behemoth in their mouth. And he supposed he’d have to try if he wanted to find out. He positioned himself at a comfortable angle, staring down at the weirdly eye-like tip. It was sort of like a one-eyed weasel, as the euphemism went, a really well-fed one.

He licked his lips and opened his mouth as wide as it would go, clumsily trying to cram the ridiculous thing inside.

Almost immediately he felt his head being pulled back irresistibly by a tight tension against his scalp. He sat back and looked up, seeing Bro’s muscular forearm extended in front of him to grab his hair with a gloved hand.

“Watch your fuckin’ teeth,” he growled. It was definitely the strongest reaction he’d gotten out of Bro so far. John pouted up at him, at the same time feeling rather proud of himself. Finally, _something_.

Dave “tsked” next to him as Bro let go. “Jesus Egbert, haven’t you ever seen porn? Move over.” His friend pushed him out of the way, and John wasn’t sure how he felt about being shoved around by both Striders. He couldn’t dwell on it for too long though, because now Dave had taken his place in front of the king-size tool and was opening his own mouth, sucking his lips in a bit to cover his teeth. Apparently all it took to get him to do something was to give him a chance to show how much better he was at something.

John watched in amazement as the younger Strider went straight for the gold, sinking his mouth down around the huge width.

Not a moment later it became obvious that Dave had bitten off more than he could chew, so to speak. He started gagging and choking, pulling back to cough uncontrollably, his hand tightening around Bro’s cock. The older man didn’t offer his brother the soda, John noticed, so he grabbed it himself and gave it to Dave, laughing all the while.

“Wow Dave, smooth moves. Which porn did you see that in? Gagbusters 6?”

Dave was about to say something before he dissolved into another fit of coughing. He sucked greedily from the straw, then coughed again, and John fell back onto the floor giggling when a small bit of orange drink issued from his friend’s nose.

Dave was redder than ever now, wiping it away and turning around, trying to regain his composure. John saw that even Bro was smirking in amusement. Apparently they were better at getting emotion out of the guy as a team.

After another cautious sip from the soda, Dave seemed to have gotten ahold of himself again, though he was still breathing heavily. John couldn’t help but tease him a little more though. “Man, you sure showed me how it’s done, dude!”

“Ugh, it’s not that,” he said, defensive and petulant, “I just noticed Cal staring at me.” He tipped his chin up towards the puppet, who was now slightly slumped over the empty taco bag. John supposed he couldn’t blame him for that. 

“Cal’s chill,” Bro said, another unhelpful input from the elder Strider.

“Switch sides with me, “Dave insisted, scooting around so he was facing away from Cal. John obliged him, and tried his best to ignore the blue-eyed gaze of the dummy. Bro had spread his legs wide so both of them could fit between them. Sometimes he seemed downright accommodating.This was pretty easily achieved by distracting himself with the main attraction, pressing his lips to the side of Bro’s dick again and licking along one of the veins, feeling it twitch under his attention. 

He supposed if it was that impossible for anyone to get their mouth around the whole thing, maybe Bro didn’t get a lot of proper B.J.s. That was pretty sad, actually. Perhaps there were downsides to having a leviathan of a penis.

He continued his oral ministrations while Dave watched and tried to get a single hand around the base without much luck. 

“C’mon dude quit hogging it,” Dave said impatiently after a bit, apparently wanting a second chance to redeem himself on the mouth-action front.

“Mm mm,” John hummed in denial from his spot at the head of Bro’s cock, where he was flicking at the frenulum again. He really liked the way it felt against his tongue, almost elastic. Dave “tsk”ed again, and then suddenly jerked forward. From the way he frowned and looked up at Bro it became apparent that he’d been nudged by his brother’s leg. 

Dave seemed to get the message and complied, leaning down and placing his mouth at the base. He pulled away momentarily to spit a bit of pubic hair out of the way and went back to it, lolling his tongue against the skin. 

John couldn’t help but start to feel kind of really hot. His cock was aching, and it was obvious that this wasn’t an erection that was going to just go away on its own if he kept this up. He shifted his legs a bit to try to get some relief, but it wasn’t any use. He still refused to touch it. That would be super weird, especially now that his best friend was here. 

Instead he distracted himself by moving his mouth down towards the base on the opposite side as Dave. There was a good deal of flesh buffer between them, so it was totally cool. As he moved down his friend moved up, and as their faces passed each other their noses bumped slightly. John made eye contact (he thought) for a moment and quickly looked away, continuing his journey to the root. He had to move some hair out of the way himself as Dave took his place as the head. 

Dave was sucking at the underside of the head, where John had just been, probably licking at John’s saliva. That thought made his cock throb painfully in his pants. This was practically torture. 

John’s mind was on his own crotch, and then something else was on it too, pressure kneading into his dick in an undeniably pleasurable manner. He leaned back to look down in confusion, and saw Dave’s hand pressing between his legs, searching until it found the hard lump in his jeans and started rubbing.

“Wha-?” he started in surprise, and then stopped. It was a huge relief after not touching it for ages, and to the thought of having to put an end to this was not appealing. Instead he pressed up against Dave’s hand, unable to keep a small moan from coming out of his mouth. 

That felt really good, and it would be kind of a dick move (AUTHOR’S NOTE: PUN INTENDED) to leave Dave hanging if he was as hard as John was. He reached under Bro’s swollen package to grope for his friend, finding his bony denim-clad knee and following the path inward to his groin. He was definitely filling out his skinny jeans. That must be way more painful than his own cargo shorts.

Throwing any lingering hesitation about the matter to the wind, John reached up and fumbled with the button. Dave mirrored him, and soon they were fondling each other’s underwear-clad boners. It was getting really hard to deny the gayness of this event. John found he was enjoying it too much to stress over it. 

Bro, who was little more than a bystander to these shenanigans, held the cup out for them again. Dave and John both moved for it, stopped, moved for it again and stopped again. John chuckled nervously as they continued to rub at each other almost absently. 

“Go ahead,” Dave finally conceded, leaning back.

“Wow what a gentleman,” John replied with a laugh and leaned over Bro’s tool to get at the straw. He drank deeply, closing his eyes and focused on Dave’s hand grasping him through his boxers. John thought maybe he’d check out Bro’s testicles next, which were still hidden by his underwear. 

His eyes still closed and mind occupied as he let go of the straw, it took a moment for John to realize that something else was pressing against his lips. The pressure became undeniable, and he opened his eyes to see an extreme close-up of his own suprised face reflected in Dave’s sunglasses. 

Oh, Dave was kissing him. That was...kind of really awesome actually. They were making out right over Bro’s large beef truncheon, and Dave was reaching into the slit of his underwear. Wow.

Acting on instinct rather than his perception of how homosexual the situation was, John opened his mouth to his friend. As their tongues came into contact he couldn’t help but think about how he’d been watching Dave’s tongue swirling around the head of his brother’s schlong a moment ago. Of course, before that his own tongue had been doing the same thing so it wasn’t like they were giving each other dick cooties they didn’t already have.

Well, John was sort of giving Dave his own dick cooties, because the younger Strider was grasping him skin to skin now, easily getting his whole hand around John’s erection compared to Bro’s. John followed suit without much hesitation, finding his way into Dave’s briefs and taking hold of him.

“Ha! I’m bigger!” John exclaimed, breaking the kiss to gloat as he felt Dave’s slightly smaller boner.

“Yeah, by like half a millimeter,” Dave argued, going red again. “And with genes like these,” Dave’s hand found his own where it was attempting to encircle that impossible Bro girth, sliding his fingers between John’s to close around it, “Maybe I’m not done growing yet."

That seemed unlikely, but John couldn’t help but imagine Dave wielding a cock the size of his brother’s, and that was pretty cool. At least it would be easier to talk to Dave about it than it was trying to get answers from Bro.

Their combined efforts could easily encircle Bro’s member, and they tightened their grips, creating a snug channel for the thing. 

Conversation over, Dave continued to look at him for a moment, mouth open and slightly breathless, then went back to lave his tongue against Bro’s head again. John joined him quickly, and this time he didn’t mind when their noses bumped or their tongues came into contact with each other as they worshipped the older man’s giant meat sword. 

John glanced up to see how Bro was taking this latest development. The answer was “like a champ.” He was leaning back on the couch, hands behind his head and smirking cockily, like having two teenage boys treating his cock like the most delicious popsicle was the height of human achievement.

John groaned as Dave gave his dick an extra hard squeeze and he returned the favor, causing a twin groan and their mouths met again, tongues tangling and lapping against Bro’s frenulum together. 

They heard a long exhale above them, and Bro reached down to bury his hands in both their hair more gently this time, apparently a fan of what they were doing.

John couldn’t really keep up his own illusion that this was for scientific purposes anymore, it was just too hot. His heart was hammering in his chest, a shivery sort of warmth pooling in his stomach and then dripping down to his balls, which felt like they were about to explode with arousal. His hand movements were growing more erratic, both against Dave’s cock and entwined with Dave’s fingers as they pumped Bro’s pulsing erection together.

John whined and Dave answered, their hands stilling on Bro in favor of each other. Their lips found each other fully again, and John could feel the older man’s hand massaging his scalp and pushing him towards Dave. Their chins sandwiched Bro’s tip as they made out, grunting and moaning, rapidly approaching jizztown.

John gave in first, having been nursing his boner for a good deal longer. He bit down on Dave’s lip involuntarily as he released into his best friend’s hand, muscles tensing and hands tightening on both Striders. It felt like an orgasm he’d been on the cusp of for weeks, though it had really only been about six days of cock-curiosity-based blueballing. He moaned in relief, still digging his teeth lightly into Dave’s mouth. His friend gasped in surprise at the bite, and the sound made John speed his movements against the smaller cock, wanting to bring him to the same point. 

It wasn’t long before his goal was achieved, and Dave was signalling his release with a quiet moan of pleasured contentment and a hot wet mess in John’s hand. They rested their foreheads against each other, breathing down onto the huge hard-on between them until a short tug from Bro’s hands reminded them they weren’t done yet. 

Without thinking John brought his sticky hand up to Bro’s dick and Dave did the same, their arms criss-crossing as they encircled it with all four hands. It was easier to slide along the monster now with slicked palms, and the two younger men concentrated on syncing their movements. John looked up at Bro to catch him swiping a tongue over his bottom lip as they pumped him harder, working together to get the older man caught up to them. 

They each took a side of the head with their tongues, lapping and swirling. Dave brought his lips to the flange in an almost chaste kiss and John copied him before focusing on the frenulum once again, his favorite part. All he could think was that this was so hot, that he felt so good, and that his little plan to see Bro’s dick had turned out way better than he’d expected. 

The older man’s hand tightened in John’s hair again as his dick began to twitch steadily, signalling imminent messiness. It looked like he was massaging the back of Dave’s neck in contrast, and John was a little jealous. Maybe it was a brotherly thing. He couldn’t help but wonder how things would be between them once he went back home. He attempted to gain favor by positioning himself in the line of fire. Unfortunately Dave seemed to have the same idea, and they jockeyed for the honor of catching Bro’s cum as they continued to stroke quickly with two sets of entwined hands. 

Bro made a single low, grunting sound of enjoyment and the twitches became stronger, the huge flesh rod actually seeming to become fatter for fractions of a second as it pulsed to spit out ropes of warm white jism directly into the two boys’ faces. 

The liquid first hit John’s outstretched tongue and then Dave’s as the younger blond pushed him aside. Bro’s hand was painful against John’s scalp and he winced at the feeling as well as the bitter taste of the semen on his tongue. He’d tasted his own in a weak moment of curiosity, but this was more bitter, and there was more of it. It seemed that the older man had big loads to go with his big dick.

John sat back on his ass finally, giving his knees a break, trying to relax and get his brain around what he’d just done. He shut his eyes until he felt another warm wet sensation on his skin, opening them to discover Dave up in his face once again, this time licking the errant spunk from his cheek and chin. Holy fuck, his friend had the weirdest and best ideas. It felt very nice, and he returned the favor despite the unpleasant taste. 

“Fuck,” Dave said, the first thing either of them had said in quite awhile. John had to agree. He turned back to Bro, wanting more soda to wash the taste away.

The older man was wiping his diminishing (but still quite impressive) ramrod off with taco bell napkins, his mouth on the straw again. Right as John reached out and made grabby hands for it it, the telltale hollow sucking sound of a straw drawing on nothing could be heard.

“Show’s over dudes,” Bro said with a smirk, tossing them a couple napkins and standing up. He dropped the empty cup onto the futon as he stood up, cock still hanging out of his pants as he stepped over John and Dave on his way to the bathroom. The two teens looked at each other for a moment before both going for the cup to get at the ice. This resulted in a brief wrestling match that came to a swift end when their tussle caused Cal to fall over on top of them and John accidentally kneed Dave in the dick in his surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to end the fic here with a few paragraphs, but I decided to do a short wrap-up chapter, which I should hopefully have done within a week.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of vignettes sampling the remainder of John's time in Texas.

“D’you have to use special condoms?”

“Magnums”

“Doesn’t it hurt when you’re doing fighting stuff?”

“Jockstrap.”

“Do you get woozy when you get hard?”

“No.”

“Have you ever gotten it caught in your zipper?”

Bro stopped his drill, which involved drawing his sword quickly and then putting it back in the sheath smoothly over and over again. John couldn’t decide if it looked stupid or incredibly cool. The older man turned to look at him. John stopped kicking the backs of his feet against the A/C unit he was sitting on, thinking maybe he’d gone too far with his questioning.

But Bro just gave a bemused sort of smirk and turned back around to resume his practice. “Yeah.”

John resumed dangling his feet. “Have you ever been in gym class and you had to wear those shitty gym shorts and then you got a boner and everyone could see it and they all laughed becau-”

“Don’t you have anything else to do?” Bro asked, stopping again and putting his sword away.

“Nope, Dave’s taking a shower,” John replied cheerily.

Bro walked across the roof to an exhaust pipe that was sticking up from it and motioned to John. “C’mere.” John hopped down and followed, curious. Was he going to stick his dick in there? Would it fit? Despite his hands-on research session, he was still full of questions about the thing, maybe it would never go away fully.

Bro knelt down and put his ear to the pipe for a moment, then motioned to John. “Here, listen.”

John took his place and listened, not sure what was going on exactly. He could hear a low and echoey “shhhhh” sound that was the shower going, but that was all. He kept his head tilted to the side as he looked up in confusion at Bro, who was taking off his cap and fanning his head with it. It was morning but it was already hot as hell up here.

“Uh-” he was about to ask what he was supposed to be hearing when he heard it. A faint, tinny moan amplified and echoed in the metal pipe. He flushed a bit when he realized what was going on in the Striders’ bathroom and giggled. “Heheh, did you know he also jerks off into condoms?” 

“‘Course, can see the fuckin’ pile every time I look over the edge of the roof.”

“Pff, what a dork.”

“Sounded like he was in distress. Maybe you should render aid,” Bro said, putting his cap back on. John frowned. This was obviously a ploy to get him out of Bro’s hair while he practiced his ninja junk. But it wasn’t a terrible ploy. He sort of wanted to see if he could get his mouth around a normal (or slightly smaller than average) dick, like he hadn’t been able to with Bro’s. 

Another hoarse, needy sound came from the pipe and John stood up. “Fine. But I still wanna know if you ever got a boner in gym.”

“Uh huh,” Bro said distractedly, already turned away and drawing his sword again.

John found that with a little persistence he could indeed fit a whole dick in his mouth, and that Dave shared his brother’s habit of pulling hair.  
\------------------------

A day later he walked into the living room after a nap to find Dave and Bro sitting on the couch, Dave’s hand wedged under Bro’s ass. 

“What’re you guys doing?” John asked warily.

“Bro told me about this thing where you sit on your hand till it’s numb and then jerk off and it feels like someone else is doing it.”

“Why is he sitting on you?”

“Uh....”

“Ha! ‘Cause you don’t weigh enough right?” John laughed and made his way to the couch. 

“No, I just want it to fall asleep faster- hey what the fuck?” he protested as John plopped down on Dave’s other hand. 

“I wanna see if it works so you can do me too.” 

“Dude that’s not how it works, get off.”

“I will when your hand’s asleep, ahahahaha!”

Dave touted the technique as being quite effective when he was finished, but complained when it was John’s turn that the feeling was coming back and making his hands uncomfortably tingly. Bro kept his eyes on the TV as he absently massaged his brother’s hands back to life and John finished himself off while “kissing Dave’s tiny baby tears away.”

\---------------

Sometime during the next week Dave and John were still awake, trying to get through Super Metroid in one sitting, when Bro came home, extremely intoxicated. He invaded the futon and gathered Dave and John in each muscular arm before they could escape. He delivered sloppy, wet kisses to the backs of their necks while mumbling incoherently until he passed out. 

Once he’d wriggled out of the man’s grip, John sat on his knees and started to undo Bro’s pants.

“Dude...” Dave said warningly. He looked a little more reluctant to get out of his brother’s crushing hug.

“I wanna check out his balls, y’know, see if they’re proportional.”

“Man you’re obsessed,” Dave replied, shaking his head. But he slid out from between Bro’s forearm and chest and joined John on the other side of the man’s hips.

It took some effort to get Bro’s pants off with even less help from him than usual, but they finally managed it.

“Lame,” John pronounced as he gingerly poked at Bro’s rather average and close-in scrotum.

“Sorry your dreams of giant, pendulous testicles have been crushed,” Dave replied, his own hands encircling his brother’s length, “I know how much they meant to you.”

“I dunno, I was just expecting _everything_ to be bigger in Texas, you know?” John wiped his hand on his leg. Bro’s undercarriage was kind of sweaty, which wasn’t a huge surprise what with him having been in a club all night.

“Are you gonna keep, y’know, doing this kinda stuff?” John asked, his hands joining Dave’s on the limp and still huge cock, trying to work it into erection.

“Yeah, if he’ll let me,” Dave said, his face going a bit red despite its placid expression.

“Do you uh....really like your Bro like that?” John leaned down to lick the head, putting his recently-learned skills to use.

“I dunno man. He’s hot. And he’s got a huge cock, so that’s cool.” John couldn’t argue with that.

“Doesn’t he have girlfriends and stuff?”

“Egbert, he’s wicked gay,” Dave said, looking incredulously up at John from the other side of Bro’s dong, where he was kissing the smooth skin softly, encouraging it to fill with blood. “Do you think he could put this in a vag without tearing it apart anyway?”

“Oh...” John said, wondering why he hadn’t figured that out before. “Hey where’s Cal?” He looked around warily. The puppet always seemed to show up at times like this.

“Probably still in his trunk. Come _on._ ” Dave said, frowning slightly as the unconscious man’s package refused to stand up and fight.

“Maybe he’s too drunk,” John said, letting go with a sigh.

“Yeah,” Dave agreed, letting go as well.

They traded bjs instead, and when they’d given up on Super Metroid they crawled up under Bro’s arms again and went to sleep, the older man’s pants still down and John still wondering what it was like to be fucked with that monster. Bro was gone when they woke up, somehow having managed to get out from under them without disturbing them.  
\---------------------

The day John had to leave they woke up too late to take the bus to the airport, and Bro agreed to take John on his motorcycle. Dave hung around awkwardly with his hands in his pockets while John rushed to cram all his things in his suitcase, and grabbed onto his arm when he was hurrying by for the sixth time.

“Hey,” he said, “I’m not gonna be able to go to the airport with you, the bike only seats two.”

“Oh,” John said, rubbing the back of his neck. He hadn’t realized he was going to have to say goodbye so soon. “Well, uh, I had fun.”

“Yeah, me too. Thanks.” 

“Haha...are you getting sappy dude?”

“No! Just, fuck, I had an awesome time okay. And thanks for like, helping break the huge cloud of sexual tension.”

“What, between you and your Bro?” John asked, tossing the shirt he was holding onto his bag. Dave still hadn’t let go of his arm.

“Yeah, that too,” Dave replied, and then pulled John forward to give him an incredibly poorly executed kiss that was pretty nice all the same. John kissed back, thinking that he was definitely going to miss all the physical shenanigans he’d gotten up to with his friend over the past few weeks. Dave was pretty much the best bro a guy could ask for.

“You can come back whenever. I’m sure Bro won’t mind,” Dave said once he’d pulled away and wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

“Yeah sure,” John nodded, feeling suddenly extremely sad that he had to leave, “Maybe over Christmas break."

The genuine grin Dave gave him was badly disguised as a smirk.

\-----------

John insisted on sitting in front of Bro on his black and orange Kawasaki Ninja, wanting to feel that impossibly large cock through the older man’s jeans one more time pressing against his back. He started to regret it when it became clear that Bro didn’t believe in helmets, and that it was hard to hold onto the bike rather than wrapping his arms around Bro’s waist. 

Not to mention that the barely legal nature of Bro’s driving made for a rather terrifying experience. The way Bro leaned over him and the feel of his crotch rocket close against John’s ass left him with a rather earnest fear-boner.

He whined pleadingly about it when they arrived at the terminal until Bro relented and parked his ride outside the doors in a manner that was definitely illegal. John pulled on Bro’s hand excitedly as he led them through the airport to a family bathroom. 

When John turned around after locking the door, Bro was already sitting on the counter with his pants down and stroking himself. John clambered up and straddled his lap as well as he could, undoing his shorts quickly. He kept his eyes on the part of Dave’s brother he was going to miss the most as he slid his own dick against it, to marvel at the comparison as well as to get himself off.

In a stunning show of actual participation, Bro spit on one of his leather-clad hands and wrapped it around both of them, but even his huge palm couldn’t close around the combined girth. John licked his lips and closed the gap with his own hand, working his hips to push up against as much of the length as he could. 

He leaned up towards Bro’s face, having learned over his stay with the Striders that he really liked to be kissed while he was getting off. Bro didn’t respond until John took the plunge and pressed his lips against Bro’s, at which point the older man grabbed the back of his head and practically devoured his mouth. He was a much better kisser than Dave, and John couldn’t hope to keep up. 

John came not long after, his head spinning. While John got his bearings, Bro cleaned his hand with a paper towel and then started to zip up.

“Wait-” John protested, watching one of his favorite erections ever disappear.

“Gotta check my bike,” Bro said, standing up and heading to the door.

“What’s it like to have full sex with someone?!” John blurted out, wanting one more question, his biggest one, answered before he left. Bro paused.

“I don’t do that,” he shrugged. John gaped. Maybe it was just too big. That really sucked.

“I’ll fuck your thighs next time you’re here,” Bro said as he turned the knob and stepped out. Apparently he’d figured out that what John was really asking was “What is it like to have full sex with you?” John wasn’t really sure what the thigh-fucking thing meant, but it sounded great, if kind of scary. 

Bro was gone by the time John had fastened his own pants and left the bathroom. He pulled his suitcase along towards the check-in desk, the satisfaction of orgasm and sorrow that his trip was over clashing in a bittersweet orgy in his head. He was already planning how to ask Dad when he could visit Texas again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you've enjoyed! I know this fic is ridiculous and silly but it was definitely one of my favorites to write. And probably the only one that I'm sort of satisfied with the ending of.
> 
> Last few things:  
> [Bro's bike](http://i.imgur.com/uF1j8.jpg)
> 
> The song the fic is named for:  
> [ Amanda Blank- Big Heavy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kx_e9Pao7r0&feature=youtu.be)


End file.
